This monster is far too unwieldy for us on our own. So we post the latest conundrums up here - "What shall we call the film?", for example - you lovely people send your suggestions, we pick the best one and everyone goes home happy.

Some glamourous, most decidedly not. Some creative, most dull as ditchwater. Not sure any of them count as gainful employment, but something for the CV and grandchildren at least.

Crude is a crowd-funded film. 184 investors so far and always looking for more. £20 quid and you get a credit. £5,000 and you get a % of profits and tickets to a premiere.

For those with empty purses or rich friends, just fill in this ever-so-easy online form and you can help Crude without denting your own bank balance.